Ok.. well I know no one has missed me.. but i've been away backpacking for five days and just got back. god i'm tired! backpacking was fun except for the bugs.. I HATE bugs. but anyway... since I was away from a computer for five days i've missed a bunch of podcasts and I got back showered for a long time, watched some TV, checked the forum, and then finally checked out the blogs. I don't know how many people are a) reading this b) have seen my post on the forum, but I attempted to come out to my teacher. school ended and I still haven't told her but I plan on either doing it next year or during the summer when I see her.
The crazy thing is that I know she'll be cool about it cause as i've said before, she's gay. but I mean I still don't know if it would make things weird and she's one of those teachers that i've learned so much from. I mean we've argued over some of the most ridiculous things. this summer I going to this writing thing that she's teaching so i'm planning to just blurt it out. the hard part is finding a time when there's no one else there.
next year i'm going to join the GSA with my really good friend but I can't seem to tell my parents. god, I feel like such a loser. I know that I shouldn't feel that I have to hide these things.. I mean it's the gay STRAIGHT alliance so joining doesn't necessarily make me gay, even though I know I am. I feel like a horrible person, I have out right lied to some of the coolest people in my life who have basically asked me if I was gay. but every time someone asked me that, they made it sound like if I said yes it was bad. I mean jeez, I showed my friend a picture of Katherine Moennig and my other friend saw and was like "are you two having on of your lesbain fantasies again?"
I was like what they fuck? First off look at this chick (Katherine Moennig) she's hella hot and second off it's none of you bussiness who i think is hot or who i'm attracted to. I've never told anyone this, but when we were about six or seven we kissed. I should add that my friend, let's call her Z, has pictures of this event and insists on repetetdly telling me about this and says it like kissing another girl is horrible. Mind you, since that day when i was SEVEN i haven't kissed another girl. Z was my first friend and i wish i could tell her that i'm gay but i KNOW she will freak.
i have rambled on for long enough i guess my point in this post was just to say that i'm trying to come out to some close friends and am finding it really hard. i'm one of those people who over think things. to anyone who reads this any advice would be much appriated.
This is the picture that i showed to my friend
No comments:
Post a Comment